by Chrysa Smith

My mother is 87. She’s a gal from the old school—refined, conservative, self-disciplined. She’s in relatively good health and informed; usually up on the latest Hollywood gossip, tv shows and world news. So, while we were out shopping the other day, she casually mentioned to me, ‘Did you hear the story about Viagra for women? Yah, it’s some cream that’s supposed to get women in the mood.’

After a few chuckles, I plainly told her that I know how to get women in the mood—how about some Cary Grant or George Clooney? OK, I jest. (no, not really). But really, how much of our playfulness, flirting and sensuality is affected by age; how much by just being out of the loop due to the repetitiveness of long-term relationships, the lack of relationships, busyness of our days, tiredness caused by the busyness of our days?

Oh, were you expecting an answer? Well, don’t look at me. I’m no expert. But what I do know is that when I’m well rested, well fed and my spouse seems to be either listening or going just a bit further out of his way than normal to make me feel loved, appreciated—or as Oprah often says, ‘validated,’ I’m so much more interested.

So, while we can’t change some of the effects of biological aging, we can do some things to spice it up a bit. Here’s what I’m thinking about:

  • Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep a night, without dog fights, bathroom trips or heartburn
  • A chef at least twice a week, to leave me free to lounge at dinnertime with a glass of wine and a plan beyond washing dishes and cleaning the counters
  • An occasional bouquet (hopefully from Floribunda), little block of chocolate, token gift from somewhere he was without me, verbal expression of deep thoughts
  • Cleaning lady who will free my non-working time to do some extra grooming—like plucking, teeth whitening, moisturizing, shaving, etc
  • Control of the tv remote and/or adherence to a cell-free zone
Warning: If I actually ‘score’ any of these, I may be blogging less—-you know. (soft blush)

What are your tips for spicing up a bland libido? Please do tell.