.by Chrysa Smith

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a handsome prince and his beautiful, young princess. Their wedding was complete with horse-drawn carriages, the world’s longest wedding gown train and worldwide telecasts in multiple languages. Souvenir chackas could be found in every cheesy gift shop, stories on every literary masterpiece at grocery checkout counters.

No, I’m not talking about Shrek—that would be easy and happy. I’m speaking about the sad but true story of the geeky prince with the beautiful, young and innocent wife who met with an untimely ending. The guy with the big ears, royal title and mommy issues who has dished out ‘love’ advice to his son William. According to the latest royal book, when Kate didn’t get a ring on Valentine’s Day, her hurt feelings had William phoning up dad for some female advice.The Royal Romeo advised his son to break it off now, & William followed dad’s advice. He rang Kate up on the cell phone. Hmmm, that might be fitting for a one week tryst, but for a long-term relationship that has made the paparrazi foam at the mouth? Well, Charles may be a protective dad, but let’s face it. Going to him for love advice is like asking Bill Clinton about a monastic life—not a real expert there. Apparently, William is a quicker study than pops and the two worked out their differences.And there poor Charles stands watching the reruns of life; as his son now stands in a similar position, next to his beautiful, young fiance Kate.

Brace yourself. Right after the last verse of Auld Lang Syne is wrapped, we’ll be getting our daily dose of royal wedding updates. Who is designing the gown? Who’s invited to the wedding? What will they eat? Where’s the honeymoon? When will they have their first child? Are they getting along? Can Kate live the royal life? What kind of wedding presents will they receive? Will there be a Diana tribute? How will the citizens of England swallow the big tab? And on and on.

I must admit, the whole royal thing is curious. I love pomp and circumstance to a degree. In fact, I arose early that morning in the 80’s to watch Diana take the leap with Charles. But I’ve grown cynical since then—or maybe just a bit more realistic. All the fairy tale stuff sounds like
a great tale—until you have to live it. And I think Kate, while perhaps marrying a more sensitive male (we can only hope), holds her own views and is liked right now by the Queen (and company), is nonetheless, in for one bumpy ride. Time will tell. Personal determination is no match for a multi-century, global dynasty.

For now, I will be among the quiet royal-watchers, keeping tabs on the latest goings on ‘across the pond’. And hoping that her royal ride will be slightly more ‘happily-ever-after’ than her mother-in-law’s.

Now if she only had a fairy godmother, some magic dust, and a talking donkey.