by Chrysa Smith

“Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman’s punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.” Helen Rowland

Ah, Helen must have had one ungrateful hubby–or she’s a misguided feminist who refuses to ‘make a plate’ never mind ‘a meal’ for a man. The cure for either behavior? Humble pie—actually, humble apple pie.

I love the look and smell of apples and the crunchy sound as someone takes that first bite. It’s so all-American, and unfortunately, something I haven’t been able to partake of because if I did, my mouth and throat itch and feel mighty uncomfortable. Yet in a pie, it’s heavenly and my mouth and throat are most grateful.

As a cook rather than a baker, I’ve never been one to make my own pie crust. Yet, watching Martha Stewart demonstrate ‘how easy’ it is, I believe I’m beginning to change my mind. If it’s quick and utilizes just a few pantry staples, I’m apt to give it the old college try. So, as autumn ushers in an abundance of apples, I’m ready with flour, butter and rolling pin in hand to take on the most simple of desserts.

I think us novices should begin at the beginning and save Martha’s crust for another day.

As for now, try this recipe off of It’s simple as can be:

3 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 cup Crisco (non-hydrogenated)
1 egg
5 tbsp. water
1 tsp. white vinegar

Mix together the dry ingredients. Combine the egg, water and vinegar. Blend well before adding to the flour mixture. Let stand for 15 minutes before using. Makes enough for 2 double pie crusts.

As for the filling, here’s my take: Peel, core and slice enough apples to overfill a pie plate. I like it about an inch or more over the top rim. Sprinkle with sugar, a squeeze of lemon juice, cinnamon, nutmeg to taste and about 1 tsp or cornstarch. (If you really want to get crazy and ignore your diet, squeeze in some bottled caramel topping–yummy) Mix well and follow the directions for the crust.

If well done, whether you slice and serve a piece for yourself or your hubby, I guarantee, there will be no punishment nor consequences but for some added calories.

Are you a pie maker? What are your favorite fillings? Have another recipe to share?