reviewed by Carmen Ferreiro-Esteban

For some reason that totally escape me some people don’t like to read. 
Maybe they think reading is too much work or that books are boring. Especially those labeled “nonfiction”, especially those about the legal system.
If you are one of those people, you may have missed the book from which I’m sharing some excerpts with you today. 
Its name is Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History, and it’s about real cases at court. 
And, yes, the title is long and boring, but the book, I assure you, is not.
But don’t take my word for it. Read for yourself and let me know if you don’t agree.
Have a great and happy week-end!
ATTORNEY:    What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:       He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY:    And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:       My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY:   This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:      Yes.
ATTORNEY:   And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:      I forget..
ATTORNEY:   You forget?  Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY:   Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:      Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY:   The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:       He’s 20, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY:   Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:       Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY:  So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS:     Yes.
ATTORNEY:   And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:      Getting laid
ATTORNEY:   She had three children, right?
WITNESS:      Yes.
ATTORNEY:   How many were boys?
WITNESS:      None.
ATTORNEY:   Were there any girls?
WITNESS:      Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY:   How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:      By death…
ATTORNEY:   And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:      Take a guess.

ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:     He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:     Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.

ATTORNEY:  Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS:     No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY:  Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:     All of them… The live ones put up too much of a fight.

ATTORNEY:   ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? Now what school did you go to?
WITNESS:      Oral…

ATTORNEY:   Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:      The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY:   And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:      If not, he was by the time I finished.

And last and possibly the best:

ATTORNEY:   Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:      No…
ATTORNEY:   So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:      No.
ATTORNEY:   How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:      Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:   I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:      Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.