By: Mary Fran Bontempo
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To all Entenmann’s workers and stockholders–my apologies.
While I’m at it, let’s add to the list Tastykakes as well as every soft pretzel manufacturer in the tri-state area, along with the guy who sells pretzels at the entrance to Woodhaven Road, before you get on I-95 in Philadelphia.
My husband is watching his weight.
Ordinarily, this wouldn’t amount to earth shattering news warranting the notification of major corporations. But when a customer with the amassed clout of Dave Bontempo swears off your product, well, someone has to say something.
For Dave, Entenmann’s, Tastykakes and Philly-style soft pretzels have long counted as three of the major food groups. For one thing, none of them is remotely green, a color to which my husband is apparently allergic, at least in regards to food. For another, they’re carbs, which, to Dave’s way of thinking, should actually be the only food group.
Dave’s sweet tooth is legendary, as is his devotion to soft pretzels. As any Philly native knows, soft pretzels, especially those sold on the side of the road and flavored with car exhaust, are a Philadelphia delicacy, and have been a staple in my husband’s diet for decades.
But time and a realization that, like it or not, we now have to start thinking about what we eat and how we live, especially if we want to live much longer, have amended my husband’s eating habits, much to the delight and relief of our daughters, long intent on weaning him from his diet of crap. Oops. I’m sorry; I mean, food high in taste bud satisfaction but perhaps lower on the nutritional value scale.
So roughly five months ago, Dave decided to cut back on his standards–Entenmann’s, Tastykakes and the aforementioned pretzels. He also supplemented his amended diet with green coffee bean extract supplements, a weight management formula endorsed by that god of all things healthy, Dr. Oz.
The result? Dave’s lost around fifteen pounds. He looks great and the jettisoning of excess weight has made a dramatic difference in the way he feels. Our health-conscious daughters are thrilled and I’m pretty happy, too. When we hug, we’re about three inches closer together than we’ve been in a very long time.
The downside? Well, the neighborhood pretzel store closed and I think the guy who used to sell them at the highway entrance has moved to Florida. I’m pretty sure the repercussions are still being felt at both Entenmann’s and Tastykake. You don’t lose a customer like that and come out unscathed.
But I’m pretty sure they’ll be okay. Seems to me there are enough office gatherings to keep both companies going for a long time to come.
Dave still abhors any green food (except fresh broccoli–go figure) and if he could, he’d be back on the carb train in a heartbeat. But since it’s a heartbeat he’s thinking about, he’s steering clear for now.
So if you own stock in Entenmann’s, Tastykake or any soft pretzel company, sell. Because Dave Bontempo ain’t buying.
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