By: Mary Fran Bontempo

Wood Driver by Golf BallWell, it’s a new year, time for new beginnings and a fresh start.

Most of us are setting goals and making plans based on progress–the idea of moving forward, in life, work, relationships, whatever. But despite our best efforts, we won’t always succeed, leading more than a few of us to feel a little like, well, losers.

But here’s the good news. No matter how we might screw up, there are a few sure things that we can count on to be consistently awful, stupid and pointless from year to year, thereby assuring that even at our worst, we aren’t as bad as some of the madness around us. Here are a few sure (stupid) things to think about when you don’t lose those five pounds.

1.  The Kardashians. No matter what the new year brings, it’s as sure a thing as the sun rising that the Kardashians will continue to be idiotic, pointless, vain, vapid and every other word in the dictionary that means the same thing. For that I’m grateful. And also horrified.

2.  The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. If you want to get a buzz on, grab a glass of wine and take a sip whenever the numbskulls on this show use the word, “amazing” to describe each other. To clarify, no one is. In fact, if you want to get a feel for these wildly popular ABC programs without ever once tuning in, see “The Kardashians”, above.

3.  Men or boys doing stupid things, filming them and putting them on You Tube. This will never, ever stop. And the range of lunacy veers from silly to terribly dangerous and everything in between. For proof, take a look at the video below as a father ties his son’s loose tooth to a golf ball and then proceeds to hit the ball to knock out the tooth. Child protective services, anyone?

I could go on, but you get the idea. So by all means, try to raise the bar, achieve your goals and take the world by storm. And when you inevitably drop the ball, just remember any of the above. You’ll feel better about yourself in no time.