By: Mary Fran Bontempo

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tongue1It’s time to burn the Hannah Montana sheets.

In case you missed it (lucky, lucky you), Miley Cyrus delivered a new low to television on Sunday night, during her performance on the Video Music Awards.

Given that the VMAs aired on MTV, the king of low brow television (aside from the paid porn channels, that is), that’s saying something.

Cyrus entered the stage in a tight bustier, head partially shaved with what remained of her hair bunched atop her head in odd configurations with rubber bands. The former Hannah Montana and Disney darling proceeded to bump and grind her way through her “performance,” using her giraffe-length tongue, along with a giant foam finger as accessories, eventually stripping down to her underwear to rub her bum against singer, Robin Thicke during a duet on his also disgusting but annoyingly catchy hit, Blurred Lines.

Go ahead, use your imagination. But I’m guessing nothing you come up with will even enter the realm of the horror onstage.

The 20 year old’s lewd, skanky gyrations, tongue thrusting and other private part thrusting had even jaded celebrity audience members aghast. Thanks to Will Smith and his family for pretty much showing us what the rest of the world was thinking.

I get that Miley wants to grow up. But why does it have to involve simulating sex acts and debasing herself in public? Other stars her age at the VMAs, notably Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez, looked and behaved like poised, young women (well, except for Swift’s public dissing of a former boyfriend and what looked like the dropping of an “F bomb” when she didn’t know she was being filmed). They’re popular, they both won awards, they obviously have wonderful careers, and they were able to go home Sunday night with most of their dignity intact.

Unfortunately, dignity seems to be a word with which Miley is unacquainted. I get that there’s a faction of the “entertainment” industry that panders to the baser elements of an audience, and clearly, that’s who Cyrus is aiming her antics at. But even the proponents of sleaze know a poser when they see one. Cyrus’ performance was so over the top as to be not only cringe-worthy, but laughable. Note to Miley: If this is your attempt to grow up, sweetie, you just took about ten giant steps backwards.

Give us, instead, the aforementioned demeanor of Swift and Gomez, as well as Mr. Suit and Tie himself, Justin Timberlake, who won a richly deserved achievement award for his 20 plus years in entertainment. J.T. performed an amazing number covering his career (see below), even including his NSYNC band mates in the show.

And when Jimmy Fallon presented him with the award, Timberlake graciously noted that “I’m taking this home. Half of the Moonmen I’ve won I’ve won with those four guys right there (NSYNC)…we can keep it at my house, but I’m gonna share this award with them.”

Class act. Miley, it’s time to put away the foam finger and pick up a pen. You’ve got notes to take.


What’s your take on Miley’s cringe-worthy performance? Click “comments” below and share!