By: Mary Fran Bontempo

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Woman Walking on TreadmillI’ve heard of counting calories, but counting Kegels?

More specifically, measuring kegels, which, if you know what a kegel is (and if you’re a woman, I’m guessing you do), is really weird.

Okay, so I’ll dish details. Kegels are those odd exercises women are encouraged to do down there, to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and prevent incontinence as we age, which translates into not peeing yourself when you exercise–or just sneeze. Or cough. Or laugh.

If you’ve had kids and are anywhere near the half-century mark, you can deny it all you want, but you know what I’m talking about.

The fact that women, after everything else nature throws at us, beginning with “the curse” and continuing through the end of “the curse,” which is equally traumatizing, have to worry about peeing themselves is mortifying. But that’s not the worst of it. If you fail to strengthen your pelvic floor and let gravity have its way with you, your parts could actually start to fall out of your vajayjay.

No, this has not happened to me. But I know someone to whom it has happened. Needless to say, she shall remain nameless to save her any humiliation beyond the fact that her parts are falling out.

Clearly, this should be motivation enough to start doing kegels, if you don’t do them already. But how do you know you’re doing them correctly? I mean, it’s not like you’re lifting a dumbbell at the gym or something.

Introducing The Juve, a new device purported to not only show women how to correctly perform kegles, but to measure your progress. (No, this is not a joke.)

Have you ever heard of Fitbit? It’s one of many kinds of devices which track your workouts, providing information on calorie burn, heart rate and other things associated with a fitness regimen. It’s also generally worn on your wrist.

I’ll spare you the details, but use your imagination to figure out exactly where you have to put The Juve to take advantage of its promises. Depending upon your attitude, that could either be a very bad or a very good thing.

If you’re of the persuasion that it’s a good thing, you’ll have to wait a while. The Juve is not yet available to the public. Its inventors are currently raising funds via a Kickstarter campaign to bring the product to market. (You might want to contribute if you want them to hurry up.)

As time marches on, I’ll continue to work out. As to the specifics of my workout, well, I’m not inclined to share. I’ll do what I can, but if I hear a really funny joke or catch a bad cold, I think I’ll just sit down and cross my legs.

Would you try The Juve? Click “comments” below and share!