"I'll Take a Medium, Please"By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this column, click the "play" arrow below.It’s been a subtle transition, no grand pronouncements, no obvious plan to weed them out, but it is happening, none the less. Mediums are disappearing. You wouldn’t think the gradual extinction of something so unremarkable that it resides in the middle would be a cause for concern. But when I remember that I’m in the [...]
An Oscar Shipwreck with Captains Far too YoungBy: Mary Fran Bontempo(Warning--Today's column is a bit of a rant, just so you know!)To hear an audio podcast of this column, click the play arrow below.Am I happy that they were, in the words of some, a “disaster?” Well, no. That would be mean.But am I secretly relieved that they weren’t a rousing success? Kind of.Anne Hathaway and James Franco took over Oscar’s hosting duties [...]
Sidelined From the Vanity GameBy: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio podcast of today's column, click the play arrow below.I jumped up and down to the beat, smugly congratulating myself on my smooth moves.Attending a new hip hop dance class at our gym, I was almost keeping up with my daughter—until I wasn’t. One minute smug, the next, still bouncing around, but in an effort to keep off of my left foot, which had, [...]
A Middle Aged Woman Laughs at Her Life's ThemesBy: Mary Fran BontempoListen to today's column by clicking the Play arrow below.Dear Mom,Your Tupperware collection has gotten out of control. I was almost late for work today because I couldn’t find a lid that fit any of your stupid bowls. Please do not add this to the list of things I don’t want when I move out, i.e. holiday decorations, heirlooms, etc.I will put [...]
A Middle Aged Woman Filters the FoolishnessBy: Mary Fran BontempoTo listen to the audio podcast of today's column, click the play arrow below.A filter is a valuable thing.Technically a filter is used to remove impurities, giving it any number of applications. It can help appliances run more efficiently. When my son complained last September that the dryer was no longer drying his clothes, I had only to pull the filter and remove the [...]
A Middle Aged Woman Laughs (and Sweats) Over MenopauseBy: Mary Fran BontempoTo listen to today's column, click the play arrow below.The solution has been right under our noses all along.One of the most debated issues of our time has been America’s dependency on foreign energy. Whether we’re powering our cars, heating our homes or lighting our way in the dark, we’re often utilizing a fuel source over which we have little control. The [...]
A Middle Aged Woman Laughs at (and Escapes from) a Crowded HouseBy: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio podcast of today's column, click the play arrow below.I was at the front door, keys in hand, about to turn the knob, when I heard my husband’s panicked voice.“Wait! Where are you going?”“I’m just going to the grocery store. Why? What’s the problem?” I asked.“Don’t leave without me! Let me grab my coat. I’m coming [...]
